You may have had a chance to skim our previous article about anal sex and condoms, where we discussed anal sex throughout history, how common it is, why it feels good for many people and how to incorporate it into your sex life safely and enjoyably. Pique your interest, but not sure where to start?
This blog will provide some (hopefully helpful) additional information on the steps you and your partner(s) can take to prepare for anal sex. Ready? Let’s go!
Talk It Out...and/or In?
One of the most important steps in preparing for anal sex or any sexual contact is to research, brainstorm and communicate with your partner(s). Sounds like a group project, right? Maybe so, but because of how intimate anal sex can be for many people, it is important to have an idea of what you’re comfortable with, and any safety concerns you may have.
Think of it as building a back door bucket list. If you’re not comfortable discussing these topics on your own, you can always consult the multitude of confidential and anonymous sexual therapists and hotlines that can be found online.
These discussions with your partner(s) will help avoid any painful miscommunications and ensure that everyone involved is having an informed, consensual and pleasurable experience if and when you have anal sex.
Practice Makes Perfect
No matter how much you think and talk about anal sex, it never hurts to do a few trial run with yours truly! Because of the sensitive lining of the rectum, any sort of anal stimulation can be a very strong sensation. By understanding how your body responds to different types of stimulation you can better learn to steer those sensations towards pleasurable and not painful.
Not sure where to start? Luckily, it’s your body and you choose the rules. You might start with lightly stimulating the anus or perineum (also known as your “taint” or “gooch”) during masturbation. Or maybe you prefer using a toy, such as a silicone or glass dildo, or a vibrator. The point is that it’s your body, your butt, and it helps to be the expert before inviting someone else in.
Bonus: If you do choose to play with toys, it is recommended to use latex condoms during your experience, especially if you eventually intend to share any toys between you and your receptive partner(s). This helps reduce the risk of transmitting STIs based on any contact with the skin around your genitals or any bodily fluids.
Stock Up on Supplies
Imagine psyching yourself up for a new sexual frontier and then realizing you don’t have what you need! The worst! You can help avoid this unfortunate situation by stocking up on all the sexual health supplies you’ll need for anal sex, including condoms and lube (and we cannot emphasize lube enough here).
The friction of anal sex can actually create microscopic tears in the layers of skin. This increases the risk of transmitting sexually transmitted infections (STIs). This is especially true for any partners who are being anally penetrated – there is a much higher risk of STIs. Condoms are a simple and straightforward method for lowering this risk significantly.
When it comes to lube, it’s much more about comfort but definitely safety, too! Unlike a vagina, the anus does not create its own natural lubrication. Therefore, using lubricant during anal sex is key! Also, by applying lube to the condom, the motion of thrusting is much less likely to tear or damage the condom. Lube also makes anal sex much more enjoyable for both/all partners involved!
You will want to specifically use silicone or water based lubricants, and not oil based lubricants like lotions, creams or oils. Oil based lubes can actually damage latex (causing the condom to break), and thus increase the risk of STI transmission through anal sex. We highly recommend (and our customers do, too!) our ONE Move silicone lubricant for anal sex, as it is pure body-safe silicone and thus very long lasting.
Begin with a BM
Yes, that’s right, there’s no real delicate way to approach this next step but everyone poops! There’s both a physical and psychological perk, believe it or not. Because poop generally is held within the upper bowels until a bowel movement (and not the anal canal where anal sex takes place), it is highly unlikely that any sort of anal play will directly lead to an unwanted run-in.
But if your fear is “not being clean” (specifically droplets, streaks or pieces of fecal matter), while this is a common fear, maintaining a regular digestive schedule should do the trick! If possible, you’ll want to poop at least 30-60 minutes before any anal sex, accompanied by a simple shower or unscented wipe to clean up – that’s all you need! Also, a quick rinse will help you feel confident, clean and completely prepared for your sexual experience.
A Little Extra Help with an Enema
If you don’t trust your gut (both literally and figuratively *wink*), you may consider also running an enema. You can usually purchase disposable enema kits from your local pharmacy or drug store, though it is possible to get reusable plastic bulbs online. These all generally take the shape of a bottle or bulb base with a long plastic tip (sometimes detachable).
If you choose to use an enema, you will want to:
- Apply a bit of lube to the plastic tip for insertion
- Only use lukewarm water and not pre-mixed solutions like saline
- Fill the base under the faucet or suction water into the base using the plastic tip (from a cup or a plugged sink)
- Insert into the anus and lightly squeeze (you don’t want to blow too much air into your anal canal!)
- Hold the water for 10 to 15 seconds (you can recite the alphabet or do a few jumping jacks) and then expel the water into the toilet
- Rinse and repeat until the water is clear
- Make sure you clean both your work space and the enema you use thoroughly to avoid spreading any bacteria
The Foreword: Foreplay
Foreplay is incredibly important with anal sex, not just to prepare the various powerful muscle groups within the sphincter and anus, but to establish trust between you and your partner(s). When you’re comfortable, you’ll be able to relax and are much more likely to enjoy yourself!
One of the beauties of butt sex is that you write the script. Some suggestions to consider for foreplay: analingus (rimming), sex toys and/or digital stimulation (fingering). All that matters is that you’re comfortable. (As a reminder, experts recommend that you use a dental dam for any oral stimulation, and a condom for any toys being inserted or coming into direct skin contact.)
The Main Event
Ready to take the plunge? Here are a few tips and tricks as you embark on your anal intercourse adventure:
- Keep a towel nearby for easy cleanup, and keep a few pillows to place under backs, chests or heads for greater comfort
- Lube, lube, lube – only enough to be slick and smooth, but strongly recommended!
- Breathe deeply and slowly for relaxation, this will help avoid painful insertion
- Find a position that works for you to start: some people prefer to starting in doggy based on the angle of insertion, while others prefer the intimacy of eye contact during missionary – everyone is different!
- Did we mention lube?
- Most importantly, if you or your partner(s) are in pain, listen to your bodies – this could be a sign of tearing or damage to the rectal lining and sometimes a time out to regroup is just what the doctor ordered
- You will want to rinse off and tidy up afterwards to avoid spreading bacteria
That’s all we got – you’re a pro now, a connoisseur!
Bonus: Perks of Anal Sex
Like any form of sexual activity, anal sex can come with a variety of perks, including boosting sex drive, improved circulation and blood flow, happier mood and a stronger immune system. Long term benefits of regular sexual activity can also reduce the risk of heart disease, hypertension, and stroke.
Pretty amazing! Specific to those with a prostate gland, stimulation of the prostate comes with its own perks, including the possibility of preventing erectile dysfunction and painful ejaculation. The more you know!